Landon: FBI Special Agent: FBI Brotherhood Book #3 Read online

  In a flash, his fingers are tangled in my hair. He has full control of my head this way.

  Calm breathing.

  Calm. Calm. Calm.

  “I think you hate that,” he whispers seductively, his breath hot on my face.

  “Mmm, you think so.”

  “Know so.”

  “You’re entitled to your—”

  He kisses me. He. Kisses. Me.

  I think my whole world blacks out for a second as his lips press against mine… and it feels good. Shit, it feels really good.

  Before I know it, I'm leaning into him and kissing the devil right back.

  The only thing wrong is that those damn sirens won’t go away.

  * * *

  Six Months Later

  Knock, knock, knock… “Do you mind if I come in for a second?”

  I glance over my stack of textbooks since, yeah, my parents were right. This school is too easy. My cursed brain isn’t being challenged enough, so I got special approval to add a ton of extra classes to my already-full schedule.

  Much to my surprise, standing in the doorway of my small study room in the library is Jenny, Zaid’s sister, friend for a day back in high school. I know she goes to the same school as me, but I never expected her to speak to me again.

  “Wow, gathering your lady balls to finally speak with me, eh?”

  Jenny laughs a little. “Yeah.”

  “Sure, come on in.”

  I wipe away some of my books with my forearm.

  “Thanks, um, okay.”

  “This doesn’t have to be weird. Come on, sit.”

  I pull a chair out for her.

  “You’ve changed a bit,” she says quietly as she takes a seat.

  “I'm out from under my parents’ thumb. I'm happier.”

  “Makes sense. Must be nice.”

  She offers me an obviously very fake smile. My eyebrows crease. This is nothing like the bright-eyed Jenny I remember.

  “Hey, blue, what’s going on?”

  Her eyes water. “I-I have to talk to you.”

  “Go for it.”

  Her eyes flicker to the now-closed door. She’s trembling.

  “Jenny…”

  “Why are you with Zaid?”

  Shit! He told her?

  “Jenny, I—”

  “Tell me you haven’t slept with him.”

  Well, this is embarrassing. “Jenny, I'm…”

  “I told him to stay away from you!” she screams. “He promised. He owes me!”

  “Jenny, calm down. Jenny, please. Breathe for me. Blue, breathe!”

  “You have to stay away from him, Essie. He’s not good. He’ll—”

  “JENNY!”

  Her entire body seizes. She shakes so violently, it sends her sliding off her chair to the floor.

  “Fire!” I scream as I frantically move objects out of the way, so she doesn’t hit her head. Even the table I drag a foot or two away.

  “Help!”

  Four kids and a librarian run in. All eyes widen.

  “Call 911!” The librarian runs off to do just that. Shaking, I reach around for my cell phone, watching to make sure Jenny doesn’t throw up. She can’t choke. I find my cell and frantically dial Zaid’s number.

  “Z speaking.”

  “Zaid, you have to get here! Jenny’s having a seizure!”

  “Well, did you call 911?”

  “Yes, Zaid!” I shriek, watching Jenny shake violently on the floor.

  “Alright, alright. I’ll be there in thirty.”

  Click.

  There was no emotion in his voice.

  * * *

  Jenny’s back in her dorm room, leaning against the headboard. Thankfully, she didn’t need to go the hospital. She told the EMT she’s had a seizure before, they checked her, and that was really it. I had to leave the room for some of it, so there could have been more care, but it seemed so minimal for what I witnessed. Logically, I know all about seizures, but it’s very different when it’s someone you care about going through it. All the knowledge in the world and I couldn’t help her.

  “I'm sorry for scaring you.” Jenny’s voice is tired, but earnest.

  “Don’t you dare apologize. I didn’t know you have seizures.”

  “Only under extreme stress. I'm okay.”

  I frown. What about my relationship(ish) with Zaid stresses her out so much? I'm obviously not gonna bring that up now.

  “I hear you’ve had a tough day, sis.”

  My body breaks out in goosebumps. I haven’t seen Zaid in weeks, and still, his presence affects me so. Six months ago, being near a man scared me. It took Zaid six measly months to teach me the art of fucking and make me crave it.

  “You didn’t have to come out. I'm fine.”

  “Always fine, sis, eh?”

  They share a look I can’t interpret.

  “Stay away from Essie, Zaid.”

  “I'm not forcing Essie into anything, Jenny. As promised.”

  As promised? What? Before I can think, Zaid has my shirt, pulls me toward him, and plants his lips on mine. Instantly, I melt into him.

  “Stop!” Jenny screams.

  I scowl at Zaid and shove him away. I run to Jenny’s side.

  “Sorry,” I murmur, rubbing her hair back once. She’s shaking again.

  “Please go home, Zaid.”

  “I’ll leave for now. I’ll be over tonight, Essie.”

  “You’re such an asshole, Zaid.”

  He slams the door and leaves the room.

  “You can’t be with him, Essie. Go home for the night. Don’t be here!”

  “Jenny, I don’t expect Zaid to be a good guy. I know he’ll fuck me over one day. I know, babes.”

  “No, Essie.” Jenny starts crying. “Do you remember the date December 12, 2017?”

  I freeze. “Yes. Of course.”

  Jenny starts crying harder. “You have to swear yourself to secrecy. It could be dangerous to tell.”

  “I swear,” I say quickly.

  “I found my dad doing something really bad, Essie. When he caught me, he beat me so bad I blacked out. It’s why I get seizures,” she whispers. “Brain injury. I also… I, I can’t have kids, Essie. That gift was stolen from me that day as well.”

  My heart stops beating. “What does that have to do with Zaid?” I breathe. My eyes pound with unshed tears.

  “He was there, Essie. He watched. He didn’t stop him.”

  * * *

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  I screech against the hand wrapped around my mouth as I'm dragged backwards.

  “Mmmm! Mmm!”

  “Relax, IQ.”

  This fucking… All the air is knocked out of me when I'm thrust against the wall behind me. Zaid has me pinned to the wall by my shoulders.

  “Let me go, Zaid,” I state calmly.

  “Yes, I know my lovely sister told you her baby troubles. I’ll deal with her later, but for now…”

  He captures my lips in a bruising kiss. I don’t melt this time. I always knew Zaid was bad, but I thought I could use him for the pleasure I’d been denied. But now, it’s not fuckin’ worth it. I twist my head to the side to get out of the kiss. Zaid narrows his eyes.

  “Let me explain.”

  “No.”

  “Essie,” he growls. “Let me fuckin’ explain.”

  “She can’t have children,” I hiss. “Do you know how bad you have to beat a woman to cause that kind of damage? I do. Get out of my face.”

  I expect Zaid to fight me, but instead, he seems to soften. He suckles the skin on my neck I love so much.

  “Let me explain, Essie. Five minutes.”

  He called me by my name. Ugh, I hate that this feels so good.

  “Fine. Five. Not a minute more.”

  “Good girl.”

  Sorry for lying to you, blue.

  * * *

  “So, your dad threatened to send Jenny to foster care?”

  “Y
es. If I intervened, he’d send her away. I don’t want to lose Jenny.”

  “But… you can call the cops.”

  Zaid’s eyes darken. “No cops.”

  “But—”

  “My dad’s powerful. Even you have to understand the politics of that.”

  “Especially me,” I murmur. “Zaid, I don’t like it.”

  “We’ll keep it secret.”

  “Just fucking, Zaid. Sex, that’s all.”

  He smiles at me with that darkness I fear out on full display. The sirens blare. My conscience screams. My heart quickens.

  But still, I take a step closer.

  Chapter Three

  Essie

  One Year Later

  “Get on your knees, slut.”

  I get on my knees.

  “Please tell me one of your friends aren’t joining today, Zaid.”

  In a flash, his fingers are in my hair, pulling hard. His face is inches from mine.

  “What did I say my name was?”

  “Z,” I breathe, breath quickening.

  “Good girl.”

  He brushes my hair back like I'm his pet. I am. That’s what I’ve become. I don’t even know how this happened.

  “I want you to move in with me, Essie.”

  “What.” I freeze.

  “Move in with me.”

  “Wh-wh-what about school?”

  Eeeeoooeeeeoooeeeooo…. The sirens scream in my head.

  “Online school. I want this for us.”

  How did we go from just fucking to this? Why do I feel like I can’t let him down? Why am I so scared?

  Essie Taylor, genius Essie Taylor, you’ve been manipulated.

  No, I haven’t! Shut up!

  “But, my parents—”

  “Haven’t spoken to you in six months.”

  I bite my cheek. “But Jenny,” I whisper.

  “Jenny will be happy for us.”

  “Zaid…”

  “I can make you happy. Give you everything you’ve missed.”

  “I have doubts.”

  He kisses me in that way that makes my knees weak.

  “I can’t quit school. Despite what I say, it is important to me that I finish.”

  “I know what you need, IQ,” he murmurs, nipping my nose with his teeth.

  “I’ll live with you, Zaid. Don’t fuck me over.”

  He brings me to come, but doesn’t reply.

  * * *

  One Month Later

  My bags are packed. My dorm room is set to go for the next poor college student. I’ve avoided Jenny like the plague and I feel like the shittiest person alive. She had a seizure over this, for God’s sake. She poured her heart out to me!

  So why am I doing this?

  The answer is easy, yet so complicated at the same time. The simplest linear equation, yet the most complicated exponential function. Zaid’s the first person to care for me in a way that has nothing to do with the way I think. No one’s ever taken an interest in me before, except for maybe Jenny. But with Zaid in my life, I get Jenny, too. I just have to get her to see that Zaid was trying to protect her in his own way. Just like all the times he uses my body for his pleasure or has his friends use me. He knows what I need more than I do. How would I know? I'm just a book freak. I’m no expert on sex or relationships.

  This is wrong, Essie Taylor.

  I shake my head, violently shoving aside that inner voice that constantly questions the actions I’m taking with Zaid. My usually clear, concise mind has been riddled with anxiety. In fact, I’ve been such a freakin’ wreck, I’ve had four major, debilitating headaches this month. I’ve never had a headache before. I even missed a class because of one. It was the first class I’ve ever missed in my life, and of course, Jenny found out since being the school genius means that everyone whispers about you when you aren’t there. She suspects something, but Zaid promises he’ll handle it.

  Scooping up the last of my bags, I walk out the door and drive to Zaid’s place. I know where to go by now. It’s easy enough.

  When I arrive at his house, I grab my purse and leave the rest of the shit in the back. He’s got muscles. He can do it. I practically jog to the front door.

  Huh, it’s already open.

  “Zaid,” I call as I push the door open with light fingers. “Zaid?”

  “Oh, 214, you made this too easy.”

  What the… I don’t recognize that voice. I spin on my heel just in time to see a man with dark skin and cruel, dancing eyes grab me from behind.

  “Zaid, what is this? Zaid!” I shriek as I'm dragged backward. “ZAID!”

  “He goes by Z, actually.”

  “ZAID!”

  Where are you?

  A sob rips from my throat. “Z- Zaid,” I whimper.

  “Shut up.”

  Thwack!

  My body falls. The world goes dark.

  * * *

  Slowly, I blink my eyes open. My head’s throbbing. My heart is just a dull beat in my chest. Thump. Thump. Thump.

  “Zaid?” I croak.

  Why is my throat so dry?

  Think, Essie, think. Why are you…

  “Zaid!” Oh my God. Jenny.

  “He was there, Essie. He watched. He didn’t stop him.”

  Forcing my dry eyes all the way open, I look down at my body. I'm naked. Somebody undressed me. Dark skin. Evil eyes. Then they stuck me on this dirty, flimsy mattress here.

  Here. Where’s here? Where the hell am I?

  There are stone grey walls with water seeping through the cracks. Creakkkk….

  My head snaps. I try to suppress the fear clawing its way up my throat. It’s the dark-skinned man again.

  “Where are my clothes? Where’s Zaid?”

  “Shut up.”

  “Fuck you,” I spit.

  “You need to learn your place.”

  He charges me. I don’t have time to run or think before I'm being pinned to the mattress. I kick and scream and beg, but it’s useless. He undoes the button on his pants. I know what’s coming before it does, so I brace myself. As much as I humanly can for something this horrific. I don’t think I'm reacting normally to this.

  Because Zaid groomed me for this. I'm the stupidest genius in the world.

  The only weakness I show is once his body thrusts inside me. A hiccup escapes, along with a tear.

  God, please help me. I know I don’t believe, but prove me wrong.

  A few minutes pass, I think. It could be minutes. It could be hours. For the first time in my life, numbers, minutes, hours make no sense to me.

  “My name is Sty. You’ll be seeing lots of me,” he finally says, like I care. Like I’m even aware of what’s going on after what he’s done to me. “I need your birth name, but here, you are 214.” My name… my thoughts splinter. I can’t let this get back to Jenny, or my mom and dad. We may have our disagreements, but still, I would never want anything bad to happen to them.

  “Tammy,” I murmur.

  “Good girl.”

  He pulls out of me, causing a violent tremor of despair to wrack through my body.

  “You done?”

  Zaid. Oh God, he really is in on this. My chest heaves as I fight to keep it together while my heart rips into a million little pieces.

  I scramble to sit with Sty’s fluids leaking down my thigh and curl myself into a ball, but I keep my chin up.

  “Done,” Sty says coolly. “Just to confirm. This whore’s name is Tammy?”

  Zaid’s gaze snaps to me. “Tammy, huh?”

  My eyes plead with this heartless bastard. Please, Zaid, if he has any heart at all. Jenny. If they know my name, it could get back to his sister, the one I'm praying these other monsters know nothing about. I don’t beg out loud, but I know he sees it in my eyes.

  “That’s correct, but irrelevant.”

  He pins me with soulless brown eyes. This is my fault. I knew.

  “She’s 214 now.”

  Part II

  Bre
ak

  Chapter Four

  Tammy

  “All you have to do is lie there, Tammy.”

  I earned my “name” back three months ago when I started fucking the men they sent my way without protest. That’s the essence of being trafficked. Not fighting back. It’s why I get hurt less than the other girls.

  One. I don’t fight it. It’s my fault this happened to me.

  Two. I'm high as fuck. Z takes care of me there.

  The drugs help. They take it all away. The shame. The guilt. The pain. And most of all, the feeling in my heart whenever Z touches me or hands me over for someone else to touch.

  In the beginning, that was the worst part of this all. Now, with bruises marring my skin, my body used and abused, the hunger clawing at my stomach so violently it drives me temporarily insane, his brown eyes barely faze me anymore.

  I’ll know I’ve been broken when I no longer feel anything when he fucks me like I'm no longer human.

  “There are dolls,” I state drolly. “He wants me to engage with his sex doll.”

  Sty’s hand snakes out and wraps around my throat. I cough and splutter but don’t fight.

  “You’ll do as he says or I’ll beat your ass ‘til you’re black and blue and withhold that shit you love so much. Clear?”

  “Crystal,” I croak.

  He sneers and throws me against the railing. I already feel the bruise forming on my frail hips.

  “Five, four, three…” I trip over my feet and pound on the door, feeling my emotions slip through my fingers like smoke in the night.

  * * *

  Two Months Later

  Five times ten is fifty.

  Cow plus sheep is donkey… what? Stop. My brain’s been doing this. All the drugs and my mind sometimes just splinters. Luckily, no one can hear my thoughts. My new role as trainer for the all the innocent, broken women they bring in doesn’t lend itself well to being completely insane, but I can’t handle it.